In the church, I have seen 3 specific lies perpetrated toward young Christian women. While no one is doing it on purpose, the enemy is using the lies to his advantage.
I’m here to point them out to you because I know I believed them, and you probably do too.
for a young, single woman: I am alone and worthless, I don’t have a purpose.
First of all-
CHURCH STOP PUSHING YOUNG WOMEN TO GET MARRIED!
Paul said people are better off single (1 Corinthians 7:7-8)! Single women are more available to be used for the kingdom of God because they are not tied down to things like tending children, cooking and cleaning… they are free for God.
Plus, women were not made to ONLY do those things.
Don’t you dare think that your only purpose could be having kids and keeping a house clean. There are people to feed, souls to win, other women like you who need help finding freedom.
A single woman is a lovely warrior, and there are people out there who need you. You are not purposeless.
If you are single, Jesus is your husband and He is the best there is. Don’t be waiting for a man to come along to “complete your life”, you are complete in the sacrifice that He provided.
I understand there is a safety issue with being single. So, live with a girlfriend, brother, or your family, minister in group settings, be active in developing women’s ministries, etc. You can be wise without being fearful.
You may have not had these thoughts directly, but indirectly. You may have said something like, “When we are finally married…” or “After the wedding…”
Marriage will bring a whole set of new problems you didn’t know existed and it won’t solve any current problems beside having some one to sleep with (I mean that both ways).
Marriage is an adventure. Adventures challenge you, surprise you, exhilarate you, and sometimes piss you off. Don’t be caught unawares.
P.S. on the sex thing that I wish someone had told me: Sex is hard.
It is a fact that it isn’t just a physical thing for women. Sex will dredge up some ugly feelings from the past and you are going to have to deal with them.
I spent my wedding night crying and sexless. It turns out that I had some trauma from my childhood that I did not remember and it ruined the NEXT FOUR YEARS of sex for me.
I cried every time and did not enjoy sex for the first four years of marriage…4.5 to be exact. Wanna know when I started enjoying it? When we started trying for our first child.
My example is extreme (as is my personality) but it is not uncommon. Sex is hard, don’t be unrealistic with your expectations. It takes awhile to get to know your body and your husband’s, even if you’ve been sexually active before.
I’m alone as a mother.
The enemy really wants Eve to think she is alone, it is his M.O. Unfortunately, it works a lot, even for me.
My oldest is beyond obstinate. The saying, “Stubborn as a mule,” doesn’t even begin to cover his attitude (and I’ve trained mules). When I ask for advice on how to discipline him, every suggest falls short. No one seems to understand how to deal with a child like him. I feel very alone.
Realistically, I am not the only woman with a child as stubborn as my oldest. I’m sure there are children more obstinate than him (pray for those women, seriously). I am the only woman who has this boy in particular but that doesn’t make me alone.
Mama, you are not alone. Don’t allow the enemy to convince you of that. He is wrong, the Holy Spirit is always with you.
No matter what stage of life you are in as a young Christian woman, the enemy is going to try to convince of one of these lies. Don’t let him best you.
You are strong, you are smart, and you are not alone.
P.S. In case you were wondering, sex is awesome now, but we’ve had 8 years of practice. 😉